Five Things You Wouldn't Know If You've Been Living Under a Rock For The Past Week.

1) This past Friday marked the royal wedding of Great Britain's Prince William and Kate Middleton. Congrats to the pair of them, I hope it goes well. They've already got a good advantage over Charles & Diana, having been together/in each other's company for seven or eight years, as opposed to the thirteen or so single ocassions whereby Charlie and Di met each other- Charlie with Queen Liz's finger prodded firmly in his back.

I cringed watching the coverage of the wedding when some overzealous Royalist referred to the new Dutchess of Cambridge as the "new Diana". Yikes.

Also, I'm sick of hearing the fuss over her sister Phillipa. She really isn't that special! At the wedding I thought she looked an orange skeleton in a wig and a silk cocoon.

2) The Sony PlayStation Network is still down after being well and truly hacked. Gaming's most expensive underdog console has yet again hit another, more considerably sized snag, as hackers managed to bring down the PSN over two weeks ago, compromising pretty much all 77 million users' personal information in the process. This has made me certain that, when the wretched thing finally comes back online, I am taking my debit card off and never putting it back on there. I'm watching my bank balance like a crack addict guarding his stash at the moment, because I really don't know what sort of risk I'm at.

Sony say they will compensate PSN users by giving them 30 days of free PlayStation Plus- which I could really care less about. PlayStation Plus has been met with a largely mediocre reception since it's release, if Sony hadn't noticed, so I don't appreciate the insinuation that this is something that I actually want. How about instead of giving me something that I don't even get to keep, you give me some PSN store credit. I'm gonna need it if all my funds get pinched.

3) They got Osama Bin Laden. After a decade, the USA's most wanted man has met his demise, killed in a firefight during an operation carried out by US special forces in Pakistan.

Now all I'm waiting for is the plethora of conspiracy theories to start streaming in. C'mon guys, let's be realistic about this- if there's anyone we can trust to tell us the truth, it's the flesh-suited, eight-feet tall alien lizard men from a distant planet that run the White House.

Maybe Bin Laden wouldn't have got caught if he hadn't used his real address on the PlayStation Network.

4) FC Barcelona faced Real Madrid in an entertaining two-legged semi-final clash in the Champions League. Barcelona won the tie last night in a 1-1 draw with Madrid in order to clinch a 3-1 aggregate victory and secure a place in the Wembley final with Manchester United, who won their semi-final tie this evening. Thing is, the majority of the entertainment was not really a product of the football they played- more so it was the complete lack of football that made the first leg between the two Spanish sides entertaining, with more diving than Ecco the Dolphin and more drama than Hilary Clinton's face as she watches a live feed of a dubious US Special Forces military operation.

I managed to watch the first leg and was disgusted as these two footballing "greats" basically partook in sheer horseplay for 90 minutes, with the game seeing plenty of yellow and red cards and was inevitably decided by two fine Lionel Messi goals (yawn, boring). As I tweeted on the night, I hope Manchester United go on to thrash Pep Guardiola's Catalan pansies- the greatest team on earth you may be, but you basically cheated and acted like a load of school yard children on your way to this final.

5) Thursday is Polling Day! In particular, the referendum on the voting system shall be decided. In the blue corner we have the traditional "first-past-the-post" voting system, and in the red corner we have the totally obscure and unfair (not to mention aptly-named) "alternative vote". AV is basically the equivalent of me having a selection of five chocolate bars, with me picking a Bounty and being told I can't actually have it because no one else wants it, but I can have Kit Kat because that was slightly more popular.

So basically if I genuinely want to vote for a lesser-supported party, my vote is essentially wasted and given to another? If I seriously wanted to vote for a party I thought was a waste of time, I'd just vote for the Green Party.