Can you feel that? A chill in the air, the feeling of someone watching you? Is there someone hiding in the wardrobe... Slowly closing in, as your distracted reading on your computer?
No?
Then I guess it must be day one of the official Zombie Outbreak Halloween countdown, visit every day this week for spooky goings on from all of us here at Zombie outbreak!
To start festivities I'm here today to bring you a post that has been requested more than any other.
Monday Richard presents; The Zombie Outbreak guide to surviving a Zombie Outbreak in five simple steps.
Step one, know your enemy.
If watching every zombie film, playing every zombie game and my time running Zombie themed role playing games has taught me anything, its zombies come in many types. So check, can your zombies run, or just shamble? Are they crying out for brains, or just moaning? Do they die when you shoot them in the head, or do the body parts move independently? Are they voodoo zombies? Do they look like they have just become a boredom zombie from daily life? (if so simply direct them to this site, we can save them)
Step two, arm yourself.
We have all seen in the films, everyone is running around with shotguns and chainsaws, but in real life your unlikely to have access to these weapons, even if you do, you need to pick your weapons a little more carefully. If your lucky enough to have access to a shotgun or a chainsaw, know the limitations of these weapons! A chainsaw is not only very Heavy, requiring regular refuelling, if the remake of dawn of the dead taught us nothing, it's that in unprepared hands, a chainsaw is more harm to your friends and yourself than to the zombies, best to stay away from this weapons unless our sure you know how to handle it.
Likewise a shotgun is something you should think twice about before relying on it to save your life, shotguns have serious recall, if your not trained to fire one, you could find your arm broken leaving yourself completely defenceless against the horde now baring down on you.
Even if you are strong enough and trained enough to fire a shotgun safely, there are some other drawbacks you should take into account. Computer games have shown us shotguns are short range weapons at best, if your shot gun is loaded with pellet, your going to have to get bloody close to the zombie to do any serious damage to it, risking getting bitten, and when you fire you have a pretty good chance of covering yourself in zombie blood, that's a really good way to get yourself infected. But Monday Richard I hear you shout, what about solid slugs or other types of shotgun rounds? Well, a solid stud may be a better choice IF your a good shot, shotguns are not an easy thing to aim, other types of ammo are rare and expensive, so you can't really count them as part of your arsenal.
By know you must all be asking, what weapon would you recommend? Simple, a spade or a shovel. Preferably one with a square blade.
By now your all probably about ready to give up on this guide, but give me a chance to justify this for you.
Spades are easy to get a hold of, most households already have on, they tend to be relatively light weight and above all else, they are easy to use. A simple swing to the zombies head, striking the undead with the flat of the blade as hard as you can is enough to knock a ghoul to the ground, then place the edge of the blade against the zombies neck, and using your foot, you can put enough force onto the blade to sever the zombies head from its shoulders. A space also has the reach to keep zombies out of biting distance while your fighting them, and in a situation when weight is a major issue, a spade has more usage then simply a weapon, you can't dig a pit to bury your dead with a katana, it's hard to force open a door way with a baseball bat, and you can't use the cleaned blade of a hatchet over a fire pit to cook your food. Get yourself a spade, and make sure you keep it close at hand, you will thank me.
Step 4, securing your home.
Your home is your castle right? Well not if you don't take a few simple steps to make sure it is, if you happen to live in a bungalow, I suggest skipping this section, and making sure you have a friends or neighbours house picked out as your first port of call when the outbreak happens.
Your first step should be taken before the outbreak happens, make sure you have a ladder long enough to get to the upstairs of your house without using the stairs, and make sure you store it in the upstairs of our house, also make sure you have a radio and plenty of candles, lighters and as much none electronic entertainment you can. I would also try and make sure you have as much food and water upstairs as you can.
Then when the outbreak happens, first thing you should do, is run your upstairs and run your bath and sink, filling them with water. Then if your house is still secure head downstairs grab any food and drink you can and take them upstairs.
Then destroy your stairs.
Zombies tend not to be able to climb, so destroying your stairs gives you a very good protection from the undead hordes. The next step is simple, bunker down and prepare for the long haul.
Your best bet for surviving the outbreak, is simply to wait it out, with any luck eventually the armed forces will secure the streets and handle the outbreak for you. At this point your biggest concern will be rationing the supplys you have on hand, and combating boredom. What ever you do, don't go zombie hunting, if possible don't go anywhere near any of the ghouls, getting bored and deciding to kill some zombies is a quick way to get yourself killed, so just stay put and wait it out.
Step 5. Traveling.
Avoid it, if at all possible, but if you really need to move from place to place, follow these 3 simple steps.
Move quietly, avoid cars is possible.
Try and move in back streets, avoid main roads.
Cycling works well. just don't fall off.
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