In a gamer's lifetime, there will certainly come moments where our gaming credentials are put to the test by some of the most infuriatingly-difficult levels, boss battles or missions we've ever encountered.
Humans love to win, and any challenge to our impending success throws us into a rage-fueled tirade, whether you're a six-year-old me getting yourself into a tizzy over Spring Yard Zone Act 3 in Sonic 1 or me blowing a gasket yesterday evening while my mighty Premier League-winning side is getting battered by Hartlepool FC on FIFA 12. Here's a look at some moments of note that have truly brassed me off.
Losing All of Your Stuff - Minecraft (PC)
Minecraft has no real rhyme or reason, no linear storyline or outlined objectives. The premise is simple- there's no money, what you reap is what you sow, and you play to accumulate as much stuff as you can. You start as a lowly human, forced to punch down trees to collect wood for creating tools like you're Uma Thurman trapped in a coffin armed only with the One-Inch-Punch, and you build and create over and over until you become a wealthy land baron decked from head to toe in armor crafted from precious metals.
So, how about having everything you've worked for torn from you in just a few dread-filled moments?
In Minecraft, when you die, you drop all of your stuff. While this might not be such of a problem for a veteran player, who has already made provisions for such an eventuality, when you're just getting into the game it can be a soul-destroying experience being murdered by a Creeper and respawning the other side of the freaking map, armed only with your splintered knuckles and your squishy human flesh.
It is possible to go and get that stuff back if you're quick enough, but you'll have to trek across the map, stopping whenever it is dark to shelter yourself from more hostile creatures, which means forging more tools while facing the same risk of death over and over and- ahh forget it, you're done with this game.
"343 Guilty Spark" - Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox, PC)
If you've ever played the original Halo, you probably read the title of this entry, nodded solemnly and twitched nervously.
"343 Guilty Spark" is the infamous level where you as the legendary Master Chief are sent on an extraction mission, tasked with rescuing a Captain Jacob Keyes, who seems to have got himself lost in outer space.The problem is that when you find the gentleman, he has unfortunately succumb to becoming a hapless meat puppet to The Flood, a parasitic life form that exist to ruin everything. Including the fun you are having with this game.
The level is notorious for being difficult to get through, as you are bombarded by the parasites. They come as mindless, lumbering zombies armed with tentacles and shotguns, little floating critters which explode upon contact with yourself, or as swollen lumbering zombies which go off with a nasty bang and expel the little critter variety all over the place.
A lot of people reckon The Flood were a clever addition to the game, and were a key plot twist in the story arc. I personally hated them and thought they were pointless and rather cliche.
Rubbish Teams With Uber AI - The FIFA series (PS3)
Many a time I've cultivated an impressive unbeaten run with a steadily improving and generally revered and respected side such as Newcastle United, handing out multi-goal thrashings of other Premier League outfits, and heck, I might even get to the European Champions League and do the same there. So then it becomes legitimately outraging and mind-boggling that, after all my hard work, I play against a team like Bournemouth or Carlisle United, who are statistically and realistically rubbish, and they end up giving me a hard time or even beating me in something like the fourth round of the FA Cup. That winds me up good and proper.
Now obviously it is possible for minnow teams to have a good go of it and cause an upset at the expense of their infinitely more talented and ludicrously overpaid opponents- but let's be honest, it doesn't really happen that much. C'mon- when's the next time you're going to see Manchester City held to a hard-fought 1-1 draw on a wet Wednesday night away to Barnsley?
However, it seems the guys at EA Sports find it funny to include some sort of hidden gameplay mechanic which turns opposing minnow teams into footballing-super-androids. Well you know what EA? The joke's on you, because when that happens, I turn off my PS3 and start again. So there. Blah.
Being Killed Repeatedly On Your First Mulitplayer Outing - Just about any FPS I've tried the multiplayer on
I like games that are easy to get into, and, in defense of first-person shooters, they usually are. However, that's usually because you're playing the single-player campaign mode. Really, with enough repetition you could probably train a monkey to complete most of these linear single player campaigns.
What I do not enjoy, however, is venturing into the online multiplayer, and being made to feel like a chump, because just about everyone is better than you.
In the world of online multiplayer, it seems that its players are stuck in an all-consuming vortex, whereby they have infinite time and their dispense to hone their skills in scoring headshots from the other side of the map and slitting your throat before you've even respawned fully. However, in my fairly average every life of working 8-5 Monday to Friday and eating, sleeping and going outside fitting in somewhere in those precious 24 hours, I simply cannot find the extra 12 hours a day it seems to require for me to become invincible at these games. So, I go online, and I get slaughtered.
This has happened to me on many different FPSes that I've tried, and that's probably why I very rarely play any online. I get myself online, prance merrily into the multiplayer mode ready for some fun times and DEAD. So I pick myself up, move on and DEAD. Huh. I change my character class, to see if that makes me any more impervous to bullets, but no, dead again. You can pretty much rinse and repeat about ten times, and after that I've said "sod this for a game of soldiers" and started reading a book or something instead.
Drowning While Waiting For An Air Bubble - Sonic the Hedgehog 1/2/3/& Knuckles (Sega Mega Drive)
(So here I go with yet another arbitrary Sonic-related entry.)
Water levels on platforming games are generally frustrating, the experience of wading through water giving you the feeling of wading through porridge and pushing your timing and reactions to the giddy limit. Mario has it easy in his 2D platformers, because he doesn't drown. This isn't true in the old school 16-bit Sonic games, where- despite being a hedgehog, which are known to be able to swim- drowns after being under the drink for a while- and realistically so. Except, I play video games to escape reality, so drowning right before a life-saving air bubble floats up out of the ground used to annoy the heck out of me.
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| Mario laughs at Sonic's puny mortal lungs. |
It was simple for me as a kid back then- Sonic went fast on land, and slow in water. I wanted to end the torture of the water levels as fast as possible, because Sonic was always best when going fast. This is something severely hindered by the threat of drowning every few seconds.
Many a time the infamous "drowning music" hits, and I've only a few seconds to make it to the next air bubble dispenser-thingy; I charge through waves of enemies, ignoring rings as I pass by, just hoping that I'm going to make it, I get there and then croak, I'm dead. And then as the game taunts me with its "GAME OVER" message and accompanying wind-up music, an air bubble floats up into view as though it were a statement of sheer mockery, and I want to put my foot through the screen.
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