How to survive, in spaaaaacccceee!

Because apparently being into pen and paper role playing games, comic books, board games, fantasy novels and video games was not enough to prevent me getting a hot girlfriend (Thanks Tuesday Shanice) I'm also a massive science fiction nerd, and like any good nerd I have thought long and hard about was elements of my favourite science fiction I would like to have in real life... if I met a genie...

So without further ado I present for the approval of the midnight society my choices of what elements from all my favourite science fiction films, games and TV shows I think would serve me best, If I found myself in deep space, in a blog post I'm calling

Monday Richard presents, How to survive, in spaaaaacccceee!

Spaceship.

Moya from Farscape.

If you are going to be trapped in deep space on a spaceship, you may as well pick a ship with some personality, and you can't do much better than a living ship.

Moya is not just a spaceship, she is a living breathing ship, a member of a race called Leviathans making her a sentient spaceship and a biomechanoid. Leviathan’s grow and adapt based on the needs of their crew so you could always be sure of all the space you need and they have there own squad of Diagnostic Repair Drones (DRDs) to keep the ship in tip top working order.

Apart from Moya's in built knowledge of the universe she also comes with a pilot, an alien being bonded to the ship to serve both as a pilot and as a relay of information between the ship and crew. The Pilot has an ability to multitask many many things at the same time making him invaluable in regulating the leviathan's vital systems and relaying information from all the ships sensors to the crew.

Tools.

Omni-tool from the Mass effect series.

The ultimate swiss army knife. Omni-tools are multipurpose diagnostic and manufacturing tools complete with a powerful computer that is small enough that you would not even realise your wearing it until you need it.

According to the in game data-store, an omni-tools combine a computer microframe, a sensor analysis pack and a minifacturing fabricator, this allows for on the fly hacking of computer systems, repair of broken equipment and even allows on the spot adjusting of the functionality of equipment.

Using the Omni-tools mini fabricator a melee “omni-blade” can also be deployed and used. A disposable silicon carbide, diamond hard blade is created and suspended safely away from the user's skin. This blade is searing hot, and can cause a hell of a lot of damage if used correctly.

During the mass effect games we have seen the tool be used as a flashlight, a hacking tool, a camera, a holographic communications rig, dispensing treatment for wounds and best of all, downloading and playing video games.

Weapon

The ZF-1 from The fifth element.

Who better to explain the ZF-1 than its creator, so for this one i'm going to let the film do the talking.

“It's light. Handle's adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, discreet interventions.

A word on firepower. Titanium recharger, three thousand round clip with bursts of three to three hundred, and with the Replay button - another Zorg invention - it's even easier. One shot, replay sends every following shot to the same location. And to finish the job all the Zorg oldies-but-goldies. Rocket launcher... arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous gas heads, very practical... our famous net launcher... the always-efficient flame-thrower, (my favorite...) and for the grand finale, the all-new 'Ice-cube System' “

What more could you want?

Armour.

The Advanced suit from Dead Space 2.

A state of the art suit RIG used by elite combat teams, the advanced suit features thrusters for manoeuvrability in a zero gravity environment, a collapsible helmet that when up provides an airtight environment allowing you to survive in the vacuum of space.

It also features a built kinesis module allowing the user to lift heavy objects with ease and a stasis module to decrease the speed of machinery to speeds that allow for safe repair.

All this combines with a decent amount of armour and holographic guidance and communication systems come together in a great suit of armour.  

Mass Effect fans need to man up

Unless you're a woman, of course. In which case, just straight up stop complaining.

Now, I'm not into the Mass Effect series, and I haven't even played them. Perhaps, therefore, you might think that I'm not really qualified to comment on it. Perhaps I need to have played these games- and so I am willing to chow down on a little humble pie once this blog post has been condemned. But I digress.

It seems that, aside from the arbitrary 9.5 out of 10 reviews given by gaming websites such as IGN, all I've heard regarding Mass Effect 3 is a lot of disappointment and, to be brutally honest, a lot of whining and complaining.

The first grievance I came across concerned Bioware's decision to release "day one DLC" for Mass Effect 3, which you would either have to buy for an additional fee, or buy a premium, "special edition" version of the game which would obviously cost more than the regular one. Then I was made to understand that this DLC basically withheld a crucial in-game character from anybody who did not purchase it. Yeah, that's kind of annoying- I'd be mad at that, even if the game was playable without it.






However, what has raised my ire are the lament's of Mass Effect 3 players regarding the game's allegedly controversial ending. In fact, the protestation has not only lead to Bioware considering changing the ending, but- most obnoxiously to myself- has lead to certain individuals demanding and even receiving refunds from online sales giant Amazon, as reported by thegamingvault.com.

Rumours also abound that online services PlayStation Network and Origin have also been offering refunds for those dissatisfied with the third installment- particularly it's ending.

Now, to me, that is ridiculous.

If I go to the cinema and watch a really bad film- say like oh, I don't know, John Carter- and sit through it right to the end, and then walk out and demand a refund for it being rubbish, I don't expect to get it. There's no precedent for that, and I'm pretty sure it just plain doesn't happen.
Sure, if the picture was bad and the sound was crackling then I'd expect to get my money back for the substandard quality of how the content was delivered- but as I understand, the complaint that people has with Mass Effect 3 is with it's content itself, not without it is presented. It's not riddled with glitches like Skyrim apparently was. Most- if not all of these people- have sat through and played the entire game, probably enjoying it, and then decided they didn't like the ending and want their money back. I personally feel that that is ridiculous and even a tad pathetic.

Pictured: failure in two words.

It sets a precedent for games to come, whereby if I decide the ending sucked I can get my money back. But really, that's nothing to do with the quality of the content, that's to do with it's creative direction.

I don't feel it's justified. If you're not happy with how a game goes, that's your hard luck for not waiting a little to see how it gets reviewed and then making a judgment call on whether you want to keep the good memories of the current series entries in your mind untainted by another sequel, or take the risk of being disappointed. Just accept that this is just your way of venting and getting even at Bioware for giving you an ending you just don't like. I'm sure there have been plenty of popular game franchises with less-than stellar endings, but I don't recall this calibre of whining and crying about it. Maybe it's because we live in a generation of complainers where we're so used to getting exactly what we want when we want it by crying about it- a culture made easy in today's technological age- but that's for another article all together.

Man up, accept that you bought the game and that you played and and that no one forced you to, then take it down to GameStation and trade it in for half the price- because let's face it, you got some of the game's worth for the however many hours you spent playing/enjoying it.

If GameStation exists by then, of course.

Mass Effect 3, again.

I know this is the second time I have talked about Mass Effect 3 but a game this epic needs a few more things said about it.

Firstly, the ending, don't worry, I won't be spoiling anything in this post, if you want a point by point spoilerific guide to the ending of Mass Effect 3 a quick google search will give you everything you need.

A lot of people are upset by the way Mass Effect 3 ended, they are shouting and moaning about it, and pretty much every gaming message board has been talking about it, and throwing around alternate ending theory’s. But in my humble view, Mass Effect 3 ended fine. Because to my eyes, you should not look at the end of Mass Effect 3 as the end of the Mass Effect trilogy, you should look at ALL of Mass Effect 3 as the end of the Mass Effect trilogy, and if you do that, its awesome.

So instead of bitching about the ending, instead i'll give you a very brief run down of what Mass Effect 3 does well.

The Combat is much improved, its a lot like Mass Effect 2, and much better than combat in the first Mass Effect.

The story, at least leading up to the ending, is very good, I very much enjoyed playing though the conclusions to the long running story lines. Take it from me, playing a key part in ending century’s old wars feels just as epic as it sounds.

The Last point I want to make is about the Multiplayer, I'm not a massive fan of the “Galaxy at War” in my option multiplayer should not effect your single player experience, that aside the multiplayer game is a load of fun, I have sunk a bunch of hours into it, and enjoyed every single one of them. 

Rather than reuse the same art again, I made a new one for all you lovely people.  

P.s if you feel like playing Mass effect with me, Follow Monday Richard (@gothicpie) on Twitter, and I'll tweet my gamer tag and when I'm playing. 

I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!

Happy Mass Effect 3 playing all who are playing it!

No EA Games in stock from March- including Mass Effect 3- says GAME

Your eyes do not deceive you- according to European gaming new site Eurogamer, games retailer GAME issued a statement to them today informing them that GAME Group (i.e. GAME and it's sister store Gamestation) will not be stocking any games released by American games giant Electronic Arts (EA) this March once the rebooted SSX hits the shelves on the 2nd.


This of course has serious ramifications for anyone wanting to pick up one of this year's most anticipated games- Mass Effect 3- as GAME Group have decided against stocking it based on a "supply issue".

The statement from GAME informed Eurogamer, "We currently have a supply issue with regards to Mass Effect 3, which means that GAME and Gamestation will not be able to fulfil orders for Mass Effect 3 at this time."


This includes no longer being able to fulfil any pre-orders of Mass Effect 3.Instead, GAME and Gamestation will be giving customers who pre-ordered £5 worth of reward points or a £5 online voucher (depending on whether you pre-ordered in-store or online), including refunding any deposits made on in-store pre-orders.


Eurogamer contacted serveral GAME and Gamestation outlets and confirmed GAME Group's decision to no longer stock EA games other than SSX from March.


For the full Eurogamer story, click here.

My opinion: This has got to be a bad idea, right? EA develop and publish some of today's biggest game franchises such as Battlefield, Command & Conquer, The Sims and of course Mass Effect- not to mention their highly popular sports titles such as FIFA and Madden. 


I don't know why GAME Group have decided this is a good idea- clearly something I don't know, have missed or don't understand, but.. what are they thinking?




And this guy thinks he has something to worry about.

Micro reviews for you!

Have some Bank Holiday Monday Richard Micro reviews to pass the time. 

Stay tuned next week when a very very special guest will be taking over the Monday slot while i am away on holiday.

The Inbetweeners – film

If you have ever watched the Inbetweeners you know what to expect from this film. Its rude, crude and fantastically funny.

The Inbetweeners does an excellent job of making you hate the main characters while still rooting for them.

I laughed out loud at least once every 10 minutes in this film, and if you like British comedy, you will as well.

Go see it.

4.5 out of 5 brains.

Agricola. - Board game

Agricola is different to any other game I have played, you start with a little shack, and two people, and its up to you to expand your farm and keep your family fed when harvest season comes.

This however is way more tactical that you might think. You have to judge what resources you need now, and what you will need later all the while keeping an eye on your food and fighting the other players to be the first to the action you need.

You need a lot of space to play it, and it does take some setting up, but in this reviewers humble view its well worth it. If you get a chance to play it, take the time to understand its rules. Its well worth it.

4.5 out of 5 brains.

Mass effect 2 – video game

I'm a big fan of mass effect, the first game was one of my favourite xbox 360 games and mass effect 2 is nothing but an improvement, gone are the tedious armour/ weapon micro management instead you have a an easy upgrade system, allowing you to always know you have the best available weapons equipped.

However Mass effect 2 added a few annoying quirks of its own, now you have to scan planets for valuable resources, its pretty tedious, now they have patched it to make it much quicker, but anyone who has played mass effect 2 before they patched it, knows my true pain.

Where the Mass effect games really shine however, is the story. To say its epic is an understatement, there is nothing less than the fate of the entire galaxy on the line, and its up to you to save it, no matter the cost.

You would be mad not to play it, especially if your a fan of science fiction. 

5 out of 5 brains

“I'm Commander Shepard, And this is my favourite Blog on the citadel.”