Lets Panic about Babies by Alice Bradley & Eden M. Kennedy
A hilarious, tongue-in-cheek guide to pregnancy and beyond. You should get it even if your not pregnant, or you’re a man or if you only looked at this post because of the laser baby!
This book helps you understand the real pressing issues of pregnancy...
- How can I be sure I’m pregnant?
(Torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.)
- Did I just pee myself?
(Yes.)
- What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy?
(Your baby will be born with a full, lush beard.)
- How can I tell if I’ve chosen the wrong pediatrician?
(He/she can’t pronounce “stethoscope.”)
- How do I make sure my baby loves me back?
(Voodoo.)
You don't even need a baby to enjoy this, just a good sense of humor!
(Yes this is the contents,you just couldn't make this up!)
What are you waiting for,prepare yourself from the baby apocalypse with this amazing book.You may not become a good parent as a result but it will make you chuckle!
If you haven't piddled yourself enough from laughing, do look at Baby Care 101 from Fivejs.com.A hilarious poster of what not to do with a newborn.
For you Internet savvy people, you can look on their website www.letspanic.com which is full of answers to questions you couldn't ask anyone else (without getting social services involved!) I found this amazing Q&A on the Parenthood section of the site.
Dear Mmes. Bradley and Kennedy:
I had a baby a few hours ago, and, like most new mothers, as soon as that baby was out of me, my first thought was: did I miss happy hour?
Answer
So here are some tips to help your baby gain entry into the bar of your choosing.
-Tell the bouncer that you are disabled and require the assistance of a “guide baby.”
-Put the baby in a sling and introduce him around as your new grotesque tumor. All you have to do is say, “He’s attached to me via a conduit of tissue and fat cells!” and no one will dare look at either one of you.
-Two words: lemon wedge. No, five words: baby biting into lemon wedge. There is nothing cuter. Once the bartender gets an eyeful of Baby Puckered Face, he won’t remember what he was kicking out!
-The Decoy: hire a friend to wheel in a carriage. While the manager explains that babies and their vehicles are not allowed in his establishment, quietly suck down as many drinks as you can manage before total blindness sets in. Then initiate the predetermined complicated hand gesture which tells your friend that you’re done, and then she reveals that her baby is a WOODEN baby, and while everyone laughs you tiptoe out, but wait a minute, where’s your baby? Did you leave the baby on the bus again? DAMN it!
I had a baby a few hours ago, and, like most new mothers, as soon as that baby was out of me, my first thought was: did I miss happy hour?
Answer
So here are some tips to help your baby gain entry into the bar of your choosing.
-Tell the bouncer that you are disabled and require the assistance of a “guide baby.”
-Put the baby in a sling and introduce him around as your new grotesque tumor. All you have to do is say, “He’s attached to me via a conduit of tissue and fat cells!” and no one will dare look at either one of you.
-Two words: lemon wedge. No, five words: baby biting into lemon wedge. There is nothing cuter. Once the bartender gets an eyeful of Baby Puckered Face, he won’t remember what he was kicking out!
-The Decoy: hire a friend to wheel in a carriage. While the manager explains that babies and their vehicles are not allowed in his establishment, quietly suck down as many drinks as you can manage before total blindness sets in. Then initiate the predetermined complicated hand gesture which tells your friend that you’re done, and then she reveals that her baby is a WOODEN baby, and while everyone laughs you tiptoe out, but wait a minute, where’s your baby? Did you leave the baby on the bus again? DAMN it!
What are you waiting for,prepare yourself from the baby apocalypse with this amazing book.You may not become a good parent as a result but it will make you chuckle!
If you haven't piddled yourself enough from laughing, do look at Baby Care 101 from Fivejs.com.A hilarious poster of what not to do with a newborn.
Heres a link to the free taster chapter from Blogher
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