The Zombie Outbreak guide to camping

Remember that time I said I hated camping and wondered why anyone ever thought it was a good idea?

I do, yet I still agreed to go camping with Rich, Shanice and Matt (of course) last weekend in North Wales. I think part of it was desperation, as I hadn’t been on holiday for six years and I needed to get out of the country, but part of it was curiosity. I hadn’t been camping unless it was with school and I was required to trek about with my tent on my back all day. Did the experience change when you’re old enough to set fire to things and drink?

The answer is yes, yes it does. With that in mind, let me give you a checklist of the things you will require if you want to go camping in style.

Tent:



Mine and Sunday Matt’s tent. I’d give you the Cribs tour but there isn’t enough room for the camera crew.

Well, obviously, unless you’re planning on sleeping al fresco because you want to be trampled by cows or something. Also, though, you should procure an airbed for sleeping on. Purists may claim that it isn’t proper camping if you’re not lying on the ground, but I say that’s crazy talk. Either way you’re sleeping outdoors, why make yourself uncomfortable in the process? If you want to go all out, bring your duvet and pillows with you like we did. It was awesome.

Firelighters:



The campfire is VITAL to the camping experience. It keeps you warm at night, it gives you something to gather round, it provides a light source, and of course, it gives you something to poke and experimentally burn things on. (Last weekend we burned Haribo sweets. They boil like lava. Fact!).

However, you’re not a boy scout. Don’t mess about starting a fire naturally, grab some firelighters and a lighter and/or matches and get that bad boy up in flames as soon as humanly possible!

Waterproof clothing:



The typical British seaside holiday.

Ok, it’s boring and sensible, but trust me that you want it. You can bring everything you want, but if you’re soaked to the bone with nowhere to escape the rain, you’re knackered. I recommend a waterproof jacket and a pair of wellies or waterproof boots at the very least.

If you bring wellies, check them for holes. Don’t do what I did and discover said holes when you walk into the sea wearing them...

Entertainment material:



Rich enjoying something relevant to his interests.

I’m going to go against everything I believe in and recommend taking an e reader like a Kindle. If it chucks it down with rain and you’re stuck in the car, having an e reader means you’ve got a zillion books available to you (or however many you’ve loaded onto it). Plus, it takes up less space than books, and can connect to the internet. Handy if you want the weather report.

Also, handheld consoles like the DS or the PSP are handy too, as are mp3 players. In fact, I’d say an mp3 player and a speaker are essential. Tunes in a field! Sing at the cows!

Booze:



Matt has his priorities straight.

Surely the highlight of the trip was being able to drink beer around the campfire, instead of watching the teachers booze it up when they thought we were asleep as they did when I was 14. Your best bet is to buy said booze when you get to your destination, as otherwise it’ll take up precious room in your car boot. You need that space for wellies!

In conclusion, yes, I would camp again now I’ve done it properly (i.e. with friends), but not without the above luxuries. You can take away my internet, but you can’t take away my comfort!