Whhhy are we waaaaaaiting?

Well kids, it turns out Rich has been swallowed by a mountain of uni work, so is unable to post today. You know when they warn you of the dangers of uni? They don’t mean the dangers of drink, drugs and unprotected sex, they mean enormous, living piles of homework will eat you whole. They’re not kidding, either. Watch out.

Anyway.

I was at a bit of a loss as to what to write about tonight. I threatened ponies, but I thought you all might kill me. The problem is, I’ve been spending all night staring at the laptop as the custom I put on eBay is nearly done, and at the minute it’s only going for a fiver but there’s six watchers so I keep refreshing hoping for a snipe war and HUUUUUUUUUURK. I’m going to go a bit wrong.

To that end, I would like to present to you a list of things to do when waiting for something to happen on the internet. Enjoy.

- Delight your granny

- Eat a dragon whole

- Denounce egg whisks

- Become the Pope

- Write fake instruction manuals

- Set up your own TV channel

- Pretend your feet are made of Angel Delight

- Cross your eyes for ten years

- Shout at the Queen

- Remove your arms and replace them with Philips screwdrivers

- Hide in a Toys R Us

- Use Google Earth to pick out the spot for your super villain lair

- Skate across a Sainsburys floor in your socks

- Declare your bedroom to be a new republic

- Print misleading signs

- Paint a suggestive picture of Ann Widdecombe

And if all else fails... hit F5, I suppose.