'Look at these pikeys!'

Never let it be said that I am not dedicated to the cause of Zombie Outbreak. Last night I sat and watched the first two episodes of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings on 4OD and let me tell you, it was genuinely, literally jaw dropping. I decided to break my usual ‘no reality TV’ rule and watch the car crash for myself, after hearing about it seemingly everywhere. And, let’s be honest, I was curious.

Before I tuned in I thought that it was going to be an all out sneer fest. ‘Oh look at them, what pikeys! Aren’t you glad you’re not like them?’ However, I was wrong. The sneering was there, don’t get me wrong, but the show is actually largely sympathetic towards its subject.

Rather than just weddings, Channel 4 is using them as a base to explore gypsy and traveller culture at large, and it’s nothing if not an eye opener. The culture is really one of wild extremes. The girls dress provocatively but their honour is fiercely guarded, they hold their traditional Catholic values close but treat church events as bizarre fashion shows, and their whole lives are rooted in the past but thrust unceremoniously into the present.

We saw two weddings, as the title promises (it looks as though there’s going to be one a show). These weddings shone a light on what is probably the most worrying thing about the culture; the objectification of women.

Gypsy/traveller women, it was explained to us, are basically ‘born to bed wed’. They are never allowed out alone, for fear of someone ‘scandalizing’ their reputation. Sex before marriage is strictly forbidden. The girls are pulled out of school at age 11 and are then given the role of housewife and surrogate mother to their younger siblings, before they are handed over to their future husbands.

The most unpleasant aspect though, was the ‘grabbing’. It’s basically a perverted courtship ritual. Girls are never allowed to approach boys, but boys are allowed to single out a girl they like the look of, and try to force her to kiss them. If the girl says no, they can slap them, beat them, or in one disturbing clip, even drag them by the hair.

What’s scary is that when a group of teenage gypsy girls were asked whether this was fair, they unanimously said ‘Yes’, with one commenting, ‘Well, it’s a man’s world isn’t it?’ These women are expected to know their place.

While so far this all sounds as they’re stuck in the middle ages, we see evidence of how the modern world is bleeding into their culture. A party is held for a group of traveller children making their first holy communion, and the dancing they display is disturbingly sexual. A group of them are asked, ‘Where did you learn to dance like that?’ and they reply, ‘We saw it on TV, in music videos’. A couple of favourites mentioned are Beyonce and Shakira.

The programme is showing us how traditional values and the modern day world are colliding and creating the gypsies and travellers we see today. The outrageous weddings and rituals are a desperate attempt to cling on traditions that the real world is stripping away from them. You have to wonder though, whether these sexist and outdated ideals will ultimately do more harm than good?

Should you watch it? God, yes. We very rarely get such access to these people that you should experience it. It is a sneery programme (just look at its name, for God’s sake), but it’s just utterly compelling. You win, Channel 4. You win.

-Friday Voni