OH GOD IT'S ZOMBIE DOGS

Just for fun, I’m going to run down my personal favourite PSX games from back in day (like, 1997). I got into gaming very late in the day with that particular machine so these are some of the first titles I ever really got into. Let’s proceed, and you can mock me for my crappy taste:

Intelligent Cube/Kurushi



You probably don’t remember this game, and in fact I only know of it because I got my hands on a demo of it that came with Playstation Magazine. It must have been fate, because shelling out £5 for a magazine when you’re twelve is no mean feat.

(Side note: How are gaming magazines still going, exactly?)

Anyway, Kurushi as it was known in these parts is a deceptively simple puzzle game with the most minimalist design ever, but it was awesome. I really can’t explain it, you have to play it for yourself. I have contacts (an ex Game employee), so I got a copy about a year ago. I squeed forever.

Resident Evil 2



I didn’t touch any of the Resident Evil franchise until it was introduced to me by Matt (formerly of the Sunday variety). For some reason he gave me 2 first to play, and I instantly fell in love. Yeah, the writing was bloody atrocious but what’s that around the corner? OH GOD IT’S ZOMBIE DOGS.

Resident Evil never set out to win any prizes for its storytelling, it just wanted to scare the crap out of you. I have always been ok with this.

Spyro the Dragon



Yeah, alright, it’s very clearly aimed at the kids, and it has all the difficulty curve of a pancake, but my God was it fun. It does bear the scars of a 90’s game, that is, a main character with ‘attitude’, but in the first game they got away with it because it was just that good. Ok, so he ended up with a skateboard in later games, but at least he didn’t wear a backwards baseball cap (shudder).

Spyro’s still going in its Skylander form these days, but I haven’t touched it since the third instalment. My twelve year old cousin’s really into Skylanders, and when I told him I played the original games on the PSX when I was his age, he just looked at me funny. It broke my heart a bit.

Tekken 3



Another franchise I got into late, I got Tekken 3 after playing the demo and it ruined me for every other fighting game since. I played Tekken 2 afterwards and realised they’d improved the controls immensely (try jumping in 2. You won’t land a kick because you’ll fly right over your opponent’s head), as well as the graphics. Plus 3 introduced Ling Xiaoyu, who has always been my favourite character to play with.

Silent Hill



As if I could write this without including Silent Hill. I played it after buying the Silent Hill PS2 boxset that came out when the movie did. It can’t best 2, which was the best in the series by a long shot, but it still uses the machine’s limitations to its advantage. The fog creeps in and disorientates you, and what’s that God-awful noise in the background? ARGH IT’S MONSTERS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Again, haven’t played any since The Room. Apparently it’s snow now rather than fog? Or rain, or something? Prfft.

Tomb Raider



Well OF COURSE this was going in.

Tomb Raider was the first game I ever bought for myself (as I detailed here in the past), and the first that ever properly drew me into its story and mythology. Oh yeah, it’s nothing now compared to what’s out there story wise (Hi, Bioshock!), but it still strikes a chord with me even now. It might have something to do with the fact the main character was the same sex as me, which I’d never seen before. It was relatable as a tale of an acrobatic noblewoman wearing hotpants IN THE SNOW can get.

Love it.

The most adorable gaming characters (please keep squeeing to a minimum)

I know I spend a lot of time raging about lady gamers should be treated equally to the man types, but sometimes I just can’t fight against the stereotype. Sometimes, I find things cute. And cuddly. I know. Just do me a favour and don’t go shouting about it, alright? I’ve got an image as a hard ass to maintain over here.

Anyway, with that in mind, here’s the rundown of some of the cutest characters in gaming.

Panda (Tekken series)



What’s cool about Panda is that she’s disarmingly cute. She prances about in neon bracelets and backpacks, following around a Chinese school girl as her pet. She goes to school with her and everything! She couldn’t get any cuter unless they started drawing her with anime eyes, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t put that past Namco at this stage.

(Side note: Tekken 6 sucked. Tekken Tag Tournament 2 better be good or I’ll cry.)

No matter how sweet she looks though, Panda can pack a serious punch. How many fighters have wandered into the arena thinking, ‘What? A panda wearing a backpack? I’ll be home before tea’ before having their ribs crushed and their faces ripped off? Never underestimate an endangered species.

Sackboy (Little Big Planet series)



Aw, who doesn’t love Sackboy? He’s delighted to be here. In fact, he’s delighted to be anywhere. No matter whether you’re flinging him across cavernous spike pits, or making him traverse a herd of wild buffalo, he always does it with a smile on his face.

It doesn’t matter what costume you put him in either, he always looks cute and cuddly. Sackboy Snake looks totally harmless. Sackboy Joker wouldn’t touch a fly. And Sackboy Kratos? Well, he just looks like he needs a hug.

Portal turrets (Portal series)



NO I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT PORTAL, GET USED TO IT.

Ok, so they’ll shoot on sight and will kill you faster than blinking, but come on. You love the turrets really. So does everyone else in the world, judging by the reams of fan art and real life recreations of the little adorable packages of shooty doom.

It’s all in the voice. How can you stay mad at something at asks, ‘Hello? Are you still there?’ in a sing song voice? Portal has to be the only game ever to make you sad that you’ve just killed an enemy, when they sadly say, ‘I don’t blame you’ before they shut down. Sob.

Chibiterasu (Okamiden)



I WILL ALSO NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS.

Do I need to explain this to you? Look at him, he’s adorable!

Oh, alright then. In the game he jumps around chasing, butterflies, licking faces, and befriending anyone he comes across. He copies everything his mum did in the last game, from her fighting style right down to the way he’ll curl up and fall asleep when he’s bored of the conversation.

Also, HE’S A PUPPY! Puppies are always cute. ALWAYS.

(Another side note: Y U NO RELEASE THE CHIBITERASU PLUSH IN THE WEST, CAPCOM?! I need it!)

Croc (Croc series)



I did a bit of research before I wrote this post (i.e. I googled ‘cute game characters’) and I was really surprised when Croc didn’t make it onto any of the lists I saw. Croc is cuteness personified. Well, crocodile-ified. You know what I mean.

Everything about the game is adorable. Croc is found by the Gobbos, a race of what appear to be round balls of fluff with eyes attached, and he is raised by their king as one of their own. When the evil Baron Dante rocks up and imprisons the Gobbos, simply because they’re too cute to be allowed, Croc steps up and sets out to rescue them.

The Gobbos squeal, ‘Yay!’ and ‘Yipee!’ when they see you. The enemies are all big eyed adorable creatures (one boss is a boxing ladybird, for God’s sake!). Croc himself bounces around yelling ‘Kersplat!’ and ‘Kapow!’ every time he takes out an enemy or stomps a box.

Look, just don’t fight it. Croc is the cutest game out there. Play it, but try not to get diabetes.