The final shambling steps

You may have noticed a distinct lack of posts over the last few months, sadly we lost authors and then real life took all the time we had to put into the site.

Thus the remaining members of Zombie outbreak have decided that the site shall come to an end. 

Zombie Outbreak started January 2011 as the fevered dream of a single man, who then recruited everyone he knew to do the work for him. In that time 11 people have made just 2 posts shy of 600 hopefully entertaining posts.

As that original fevered dreamer I want to thank (in chronological order):

Friday Voni

Wednesday Luke

Sunday Matt

Thursday Will

Saturday Simon

Tuesday Shanice

Thursday Lindsey

Sunday Tyler

Thursday Santoro 

Saturday Andy

So from me Monday Richard, Thank you all for reading. 

Watch this space, like any good Zombie the site will not stay dead forever.

Even if when it returns, it's in a whole new form.

Not to brag but im creating a foundation.

First off im currently listening to Lily Allen's - Back to the start. I watched that new Lily Allen program just and then ended up listening to her music. I wish she hadnt given it up. Anyway im creating a foundation with this blog sort of a fantasy.

But before I do ill go through my usual B.S :D

So this week I nearly died.
I was getting ready for bed and I was also on the phone to the Mrs at the time (nearly 8 months together). I pulled the blanket over as I was literally about to jump into bed and something moved. I freaked out and punched a passing orphan in the face. I looked down to see a massive and when I say massive, I'm talking MAHASSIVE spider in my bed. IN MY BED. Bitch obviously didn't know whos bed it was in, running round like it was goldie locks. So I screamed down the phone and then chucked my phone (don't ask why I did that) The spider started going shit happy all over my bed and then dissapeared.
Now im scared of spiders. I would much rather feed a small child to them then have to deal with one. So I started freaking out, panicking, and then it hit me. This bitch is going down. I moved my blacket with a mop handle I got from the kitchen, couldnt see it. Stood there for ages, couldnt see it. Until finally it reard its 8 legged ass at the end of my bed. Being the ninja that I am, I grabbed the hair spray and sprayed it to death. Once the hair spray mist had cleared it was there on the floor, perfectly positioned fringe and a nice boost to its perm. My trainer came down on it right away. The story ends there. Actually no 3 days later I received a letter from its wife apparently she was expecting and I had killed the father while it was doing the weekly shop. She has had to move out of her web into a lower rent web and is now selling herself to support the 24234 kids she now has. Bitch got owned.

Moving onwards. Me and Mrs were in birmingham the other day when we both started singing Lady Gaga's Born this way song. Then we changed the lyrics to a more panda related version. The next minute I had changed the entire lyrics. I think the WWF would appreciate them as if all Panda's heard them I think we wouldnt have the whole going extinct problem. So here they are:



You're a panda, YAY:

It doesnt matter if you love bam
or capital B.O.O
Because you're a panda baby
So put your paws up.

My mama told me when I was a cub
That you are nearly extinct
She groomed my hair, put my lipstick on
And told me open my legs

There is nothing wrong with showing your bra
It never hurts if you pretend
So hold your bamboo and recreate
Listen to me when I say

You're a panda. YAY
You're black white and grey
You're sliding down the bamboo baby
You need to get pregnant today

If you want to survive
Stop trying to hide
You need to open up your legs
You're a panda yay!

Ooo there aint no other way
Baby you are black, white grey
Unload your sack
Baby you're a panda yay!

Dont be extinct
just be a whore
dont be extinct
just be a whore
Dont be a

Learn how to dance and grind against another bear
Dirty panda except the truth
In the extinction of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital B.O.O (Black, white, grey)
I love my life, I dont want to be extinct
Shit I think im up the duff!

You're a panda. YAY
You're black white and grey
You're sliding down the bamboo baby
You need to get pregnant today

If you want to survive
Stop trying to hide
You need to open up your legs
You're a panda yay!

Ooo there aint no other way
Baby you are black, white grey
Unload your sack
Baby you're a panda yay!


Dont be extince just be a whore
whether they are broke or have no paw
You're black, white, grey, and almost extinct
So open your legs and let them in
You spend your life in the trees
And spend your days on bamboo leaves
You need to open your legs today
because you're a panda. YAY

No matter if you do die
Atleast you can try
And open your legs, panda.
You were born to survive
So unzip your flys
And give a sexy surprise
You're going extinct panda.
You are black white and grey.


No matter black, white or grey
Old, young or just gay
You're on the right track panda
You're black, white and grey!


And this therefore leads into my next stupid thing. I have been writing poems, songs, storys, articles etc etc etc for years now. I did actually take up a course in freelance journalism and went to uni for a year studying Journalism, but I left for reasons that shall not be discussed at this present time. (I found out I was 6 months pregnant)

I did quite well, as a Journalist I also went into photography as I thought it would be a perfect partner for the course. I ended up selling photography to starbucks and having articles published in various magazines and poems published in the Uk and U.S.A. I was a high roller on a mission to no where. And then drink and drugs (and the baby) took over and it all came crashing down. At one point I wanted to become a lyricist. Never really thinking anything would come of it. I ventured a few steps and gave up. However having looked through the folders of articles and shizzle on my laptop I have realised that to date I wrote over 100 songs over a 6-7 year period. Now thats not that much but it takes me ages to get an idea and go with it or its just the fact a new kitkat has come out and im eating those for 6 months.

Anyway I thought "This story is never going anywhere" and although I keep them I thought that maybe, just maybe. I'd post one, maybe two. Anyway I never intend to be a singer, I didnt write to be a singer, I actually wrote songs as it helps to get shizzle out and be calm and all that stuff. So this one time only (I think it will be this one time) im going to post a song I wrote. One song. One stupid song.

Although I must warn you. I do not want feedback on this, id much sooner you tell me that some supermarket has kitkats on offer at the moment as ive maxed out of places to get a deal on them and tbh momma has got to eat.

Actually no scrap it, you had 'You're a panda Yay' be happy with that and stop being greedy.

So selfish.

:D snuggles x

P.s Im actually working on the cover art for "You're a Panda, YAY". If you're reading those lyrics and they made you laugh then leave a comment in my slippery slope :D x

Teddy Bears cannot be trusted!

Ok so to begin with I cant stop drinking Green Tea have been for weeks and I cant stop. I brought like 300 tea bags of it and I have 43 left : / damnnnnn and to also top it off I havent had a Kitkat in over a week!!! I saw a Cookies and cream one in Cyber Candy today but it was £1.91 for a Kitkat Chunky : /

Anyway
Me and the Mrs recently brought each other a teddy bear (lame) and for some reason we were in the Bullring and were looking down into the pretty shit toy store called The Entertainer. The bears that we brought were on a round stand close to the entrance and you could see them all from where we both were. The next minute the story turned into this...

"Imagine if we look over now and one of the bears turns and just starts staring at us and then the rest all turn and do the same. Before we know it they are all getting up and grabbing weapons while other toys march beside them as they come out of the store into the bullring and start fucking the place up and then the early learning centre toys come down too and a mass war breaks out and before we know it the giant jelly bean covered bull that is for sale in Selfridges comes charging through them all and knocks them all down. The toys in the disney store join in as well and the whole place starts turning to shit, fires are lit, people are killed and we have to fight for our lives to escape"

And then we ended up walking off outside to smoke before going home. That was pretty much the end of the story. But how cool would that be!!! Id be like YO TEDDYS RIP EACH OTHER TO PIECES, OI BITCH FROM TOY STORY STOP BUCKAROOING ALL OVER THE SHOP AND RIP THAT S.O.B WOODY'S HEAD OFF!!! and then ill run for my life as a group of barbie dolls come running at me carrying god knows what.

So for imaginative purposes id say that it this idea was made into a film Imdb would give it a 10/10 and the critics would go shit happy on it as well. It would become the biggest selling film of all time, beating Avatar and then not only would it spawn 24 sequels, a tv show, entire merch range but a teddy bear would end up running the country and we would all eat marshmallows and whatever else bears eat to make them so FLUFFFFYYYYY.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo

I brought a ds this week. My very first one ^_^ this ho is growing up! It came with Pokemon white. This game is how can I say it..... You shut your mouth how can you say I go about things the wrong way. I am human and I need to be loved. Just like everybody else does. I love that song (T.a.t.u - How soon is now. Im aware its not the original but their cover is better) erm yeah I would say its kind of ok-ish. Now for me, the last Pokemon game i played was pokemon green and that was around 2 months ago maybe longer. This game has gone crazy. Not only is it visually better but its also (for me) a shit load harder. Im still in the deciding stages of whether I like it or not and as I kind of had a wee pap about it, the Mrs was really sweet and brought me ZELDA: PHANTOM HOURGLASS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM im going to play it after this blog :D although im kind of enjoying pokemon now : / (Shhh don't tell the Mrs it will be our little secret, touches crotch, the police get involved, im a sex offender, everyone gets a free lolly)

Erm the final thing I wanted to talk about this week was... I think thats it actually : / Im not too sure I know their was something else as the mrs was unabout it earlier and I said I was going to write about it for today and I can't remember what it is so ill just leave you with the fact that the film Unknown staring Liam Neeson (I think thats his name) is shit.

FIN

P.s I never re-read what I have wrote so if its god awful blame Charlie Sheen.

DOUBLE FIN

Silent Hill

Recently I have been playing the old Silent Hill games. 2,3 and 4. Im currently playing the 4th one having completed the other two and so far im dissapointed!

I looooooove the games and the film and pretty much anything Silent Hill, but after completing the second and third games and completing them this time by doing thing differently I still received the same endings that I have received before!!!

Dont get me wrong ill play them again as its Silent Hill but still I tried so hard and failed : ( I wanted a different ending this time but for Silent Hill 2 I received the ending where his wife is all "Live your life now" and he just walks off with that stupid bitch Laura and then in the third game I received the crapest of crap endings in which she walks out of wherever she was, pretends to be possesed, laughed at some guy with a broken leg and then drives off in the car.

I have watched all the endings on youtube just to see what im missing but still I want to see them for myself after completing the game.

Now rant aside I want to show you lot this trailer. Its for a new game called Dead Island. The trailer itself doesnt reveal all that much apart from the fact its a zombie game and some shit is going down, Kanye West at the grammys style.



The music, slow mo reverse scenes, the whole concept just makes this trailer more than just a game. To me it shows the emotion and fight familys would have to go through if this kind of shit hit the fan.

So then following that this trailer also leads me onto my next trick BOOM a rabbit coming out of a t-rex. No, no its actually my purchase of the week : D
For weeks me and the mrs had seen it in the window of Gamestation and on Sunday I finally stood up and shouted "I will not be held back no more" after walking out of work mid-shift and knocking down a few pensioners I finally smashed through Gamestation window, turned my landing into a roll while grabbing the below item, jumping over the till, paying for the item myself before my getaway scooter was waiting outside. In other words I went to Gamestation on my lunch break to get this BEAUTY!







The above would be a Zelda: Four Swords GameCube £14.99 from Gamestation. I love Zelda!!! Although I currently have no games for it (sad face) I just couldnt let some othe hipster get it before I did.

I think thats it anyway. The Mrs has obviously worn off on me this week as im talking about Games. Oh oh on another note Kitkats are still £1 for 5 chunky ones in Tesco. I currently have 2 left in my bag. I brought them today.....

Peace Out Girl Scouts

Angry Birds and Kanye West!!!

To start off Kitkat chunkys are £1 for a 5 pack in tesco. I think ive had around 12 packs of five sinse they first went on offer. :D

So this week I have been wondering all week what I am going to write about and altough I have come up with some good ideas, I appear to have forgotten all of them. Until this morning that is. I woke up to find a tweet from Kanye West that had been causing a bit of a stir. He decided to tweet

"an abortion can cost a ballin' nigga up to 50gs maybe a 100. Gold diggin' bitches be getting pregnant on purpose. #STRAPUP my niggas!"

First to kick off appears to be Lily Allen who was pretty much hitting the roof. Second to kick off was Me. I dont know what it is about Kanye West but I just hate him. He's either calling George Bush a racist on live tv (which to be honest It wouldnt surprise me if George Was), Stealing Taylor Swifts award moment or just the fact he appears to hate white people and bitches and moans pretty much all the time about how he had a hard childhood.

I can't actually think of anyone in the music business who I dislike as much as Kanye West. The funny thing is though I used to quite like him, never brought an album or single but I did like him. I just wish he would give up now and end up living in like texas or somethign writing a small column for a feminist magazine and drinking Dr Pepper all day everyday.

Oh I know what I was going to actually write about now.
Angry Birds!
Ill keep this bit short and sweet after my rant above : )
I love the game Angry Birds. I have all 3 games on my phone and only have 2 levels left till I have completed it all : ) Now I didnt know how big this game actually was. First off you can buy angry bird cases for your iphone in pretty much all phone shops but now in Game you can buy Angry Birds Plush toys.
To top this off an Angry Birds movie is in the works and now these have come out:



These are Angry Bird Playground balls :D Which I bloody love and want!!! I also want a gamecube which has Zelda all over it but thats another story.
Now before I end up googling Angry Birds and end up posting loads of pictures I shall leave you with the video below. This is a birthday cake a dad made for his sons birthday. :D

Tv is really crap

So we recently had Virgin media broadband, tv and phone installed and to begin with it was awesome! Super fast internet, 6 trillion channels and the phone... But after having 6 trillion channels for a couple of weeks I have realised that tv is actually crap.

I never used to watch Tv as I found it boring and a waste of time and now I still find it that way even when I have almost every channel available. Most channels are all repeats or the shows are just crap. Right some im watching Queer eye for the straight guy uk and im cringing all the way through. I want to punch all the guys in it and even the 'straight' guy (pfft straight my arse). Ive started watching Oprah as well. So basically ive changed into a 21 year old 40 year old woman. Before you know it ill be sitting down every day in some coffee shop with 3 other women and we can talk about shoes and hair and cock. *Turns tv off*

I think the only actual show I have been enjoying is Ghost Hunters which is basically the US version of Most Haunted. In Ghost Hunters they actually capture things on camera and audio instead of just seeing the camera zoom in on Yvette Fieldings (I think thats how you spell her name) face while shes screaming at the pebble she just threw at herself while Derek Acorah is spinning around on the floor shouting out another mans name and claiming to be possessed by someone who is still alive.

In total I watch around 4 tv shows, these being: Ghost Hunters, Shameless, Being Human and Beauty and the beast. I can easily live without all of them apart from Being Human as lets be honest here, its pretty darn epic.

I can happily sit there without the tv on or go for weeks with not watching a single program. If im honest though I have to admit I do watch programs online. Im addicted to Cougar Town, its hilarious!!! Desperate Housewives, so I can continue my journey onto becoming a 40 year old woman, American Dad and Alan Carr Chatty Man. For some reason I never watch the last one on tv. The weird thing about watching some programs though is how quickly you can get hooked. I was watching Oprah earlier on and Will Smith and his family were all chatting away (I wanted to punch his kids) and the next minute I was googling to see when the show ends, which is September 9th. The next minute I felt sad???? Oh hang on that means im now turning into a 40 year old american woman as well.

Once again I have forgotten the point of this post. I saw Paul the other day. Was really good : ) I thought the Mrs started crying at one point but I was wrong, she was just whipping away snot from her nose, not tears from her eyes. : )

I think that will do, before I ramble on anymore. Oh oh oh kitkats £1 tesco. NOM NOM NOM

ARGHHHH KITKATS!

I blooooooody love kitkats. They are officially the best chocolate bars in the world. Even better than Cadburys Double Decker and Kinder Bueno.

To me they are pretty much sex in my mouth. So the other week I was googling away (As you do) and I decided to type in Kitkat. Now in the UK we have quite a few KitKats which I pretty much love all of them, Kitkat Chunky being the best (nom, nom, nom). You can currently buy orange, mint, dark chocolate, white chocolate (I think you can still get that) normal kitkat and kitkat caramel. I think that is about all of them. You could get KitKat Peanut butter for a while which was my favourite of them all but now (thanks to Google) I have found out that it is no longer in production and I loved that one more than all the others. Sad Face.

So while on my googling adventures I came across a green kitkat, which to my surprise turned out to be a Green Tea flavoured kitkat. Currently only available in Japan and shops over here like Cyber Candy which is in the centre of Birmingham city and will most likely be around £100 for a two finger one. As I love green tea I decided to look more into this kitkat to my surprise the green tea kitkat is not alone!

In total (according to Wikipedia) there are 116 different flavours of kitkat. To highlight some of the ‘best ones’ I have to say I really want to try these flavours: Sweet potato, Cheddar cheese, Bubblegum, Caramel and salt (yes salt), Cola and Lemon Squash, Cucumber, Apple Vinegar, Pepper, Soy Sauce and Wine. Now I don’t want to try these because they sound nice, I want to try them to see if they really taste as bad as they sound.

I think I should make it my goal in life to sample all 116 flavours? I have already had around 7 so I’m already on my way there, Woo! I did actually end up bidding on a whole selection of them on Ebay, (including the cheese one) but I didn’t win the bid. The Sweet Potato kitkat is available in Cyber Candy but I think it’s around £6.99 for 8 mini ones. I will have to go check it out as I now want to try them all. So expect for me to add a little ‘Mini Review’ at the end of my post each week for the latest Shitkat, I mean kitkat I have tasted.

To end I have attached a couple of images of the crazy flavour kitkats below and the Wikipedia link : )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kit_Kat

Are cinemas seriously getting this bad?

First off Sorry this is late : ( *free hugs to everyone*

Today I went to the cinema with the Mrs to watch Tangled. On my way I found £20 (win) and yet I still made her pay. Anyway Once we got into the cinema it smelt like sick. Like baby sick. The whole place stunk even when we went upstairs the smell just followed us.

*Intermission*
We watched Disneys Tangled. Which was actually pretty good. Its one of those films that take a while to get into (unless you're a 6 year old girl then you'll be hooked the entire time) but it was good. Compared to other Disney films it didnt have all that many songs in it, the story wasn't all that good as it was far too predictable and the acting was terrible. Seriously what the hell! It seems pixar or whoever made that film hire any old cg actors these days. Why doesnt Jessie from toy story appear in any other films? Or boo from monsters inc. I demand better rights for CGI characters......
So yeah it was good, I cried *shamefully* and then wiped those tears away and realised I have a penis.

Back to what I was talking about in the first place.
Oh oh oh no actually we sat down, the previews came on and then the screen was just black, nothingness. When the first actually started playing it jumped right into around five minutes in so the opening was missed. To begin with I was a bit pissed off and was like "I You know full well im going to flip my weave and complain after this" but I seriously couldnt be bothered after the film had ended. A couple of weeks ago we were at the same cinema. We sat right at the back and half way through you could hear the staff talking in the projector booth!!!

So to further my title argument. In September I went to the cinema to watch Resident Evil: Afterlife *crowd cheers in my head* We all went to the Odeon cinema in birmingham cty centre. After choosing our seat etc the previews came on with the main lights in the cinema still on. Assuming they would be turned off when the film started I ignored it. The film started...... They were still on. Around 10 minutes into the film they were turned off. The film was also wonky. For a 3D film I enjoyed it, for a Odeon cinema I was like "Hell no H2O am I going there again!"

I like going to the cinema, infact in the last two weeks ive watched Black Swan, Morning Glory and Tangled. The thing that annoys me though is just the fact companies moan "go to the cinema, support the industry" and yet the staff at the cinemas are poo! I want to go to the cinema and not expect to miss the five 5 minutes of a film, it smell of sick, the lights to not be left on and the staff to be talking! Oh and for the food to be cheaper because I think the guy who checks your bag before you go into the screen is thinking the same thing. The amount of times ive walked through with chocolate and crap in my bag and hes just let me go right in.

I cant really figure out how im going to end this argument as to be honest the cinema isnt really that bad so instead ill end with this: