I wasn’t all that familiar with Etsy until yesterday (today being Wednesday). Bored at work, I asked a mate about it because she enjoys trawling it for goodies for other people. When she asked what I wanted her to search for, I told her ‘My Little Pony!’ I may be a tiny, tiny bit obsessed with them. I have them dotted all over the house, much to the chagrin of Sunday Matt. With that in mind, she dived in and found me some absolute gems.
However, as anyone who reads www.regretsy.com knows, alongside the good stuff is a bewildering array of tat and evidence of mental illness. When I did my own search later, I dragged up some utter beauties. With that in mind, my crazy My Little Pony Etsy finds, let me show you them.
Yaaar! Ponies!
Let’s just clarify something here: This woman is not selling ponies dressed up as pirates. That would actually be pretty cool, and those bad boys would already be purchased and sat on my desk. No, this is a picture of ponies dressed as pirates that she’s selling. Um, ok?
Pony Bling
That is a full size pony. On a chain. That you wear around your neck. I don’t think that there is any clearer way of announcing that you are mentally disturbed than wearing one, apart from eating live voles in the street.
Team Cullen Pony
The saddest thing about this is that it’s not a one off. There’s tons of ponies on Etsy that are painted as either ‘Team Edward’ or ‘Team Jacob’ for some bizarre reason. Who knew the fandoms of both Ponies and Twilight would cross over so easily? It must be because both the ponies and the vampires are sparkly. (Zing!)
Centaur Pony
I’m sorry, is it just me or is anyone else forcibly reminded of Sid the evil neighbour kid from Toy Story, who took toys apart and stuck them back together in odd and creepy ways? Looks like he’s found a way to make some pocket money.
Evil Pony
OH GOD I THINK IT’S GOING TO EAT ME.
Die, Pony, Die!
If this wasn’t made by Sid again, it must be one of his mates. I can just see this picture hanging on the bedroom wall of some teenage wannabe Goth. Speaking of...
Goth Pony Attire
I’m not sure it’s the corset that disturbs me (after all, I’m sure the Harajuku community in Japan could do something bloody amazing with it), it’s the girl modelling it. Or maybe it’s the cat ears. Or the really obvious photoshopping. Either way, this girl can either be a massive Goth or an anime nerd’s wet dream, but trying to be both is just making my brain hurt.
Furry Pony Accessory?
This is one of the items on the list that I was torn between thinking it was totally insane, and actually wanting it. The best thing? It comes in blue and pink as well!
WTF Pony?
This is the other item I would have actually bought if given long enough to stare at it. Luckily for me, someone else has reserved it now. Thank God. The scariest thing about this is not that someone HAS HACKED UP A TOY TO MAKE A HAIRBAND, but that it was actually the seller’s childhood toy! What the hell? You have to be devoted to the cause of creeping people out to start hacking up your own childhood memories. Also, is it just me or rather than ‘jumping’ out of the flowers, as the seller suggests, it looks like the pony is struggling out of them after being horribly maimed?
Sweet dreams kids.
‘- Friday Voni
P.S I tried to put pictures in with this, but I cannot make them work. If anyone can tell me what Blogger's problem is with putting them where I TELL THEM TO, that would be awesome. Ta.
2 comments:
ok... my little pony... well no wonder matt has played robot unicorn attack allot with those sat around the house and can now make a score i can only dream of beating.
any way pirate ponies is false advertising see if you can sue her lol. centaur pony is just a doll and my little pony that have been mutilated and stuck together with glue. as for the goth thing for a secound i thought they where selling her and i was gona bid lol. any way after that i must play robot unicorn attack.
Damn ponieeeesssss!!!!!!
Doesn't help that I will still buy you some... That's where I'm going wrong.
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