So I started playing Minecraft...

OK, so yesterday I did the one thing I always said I would never do...I played Minecraft. After mocking friends who play it and laughing at the fan made videos, I delved into the mysterious cubed world. ..now I am hooked. It only took me a few minutes to realise that this was The Sims, Lego and WoW all mushed together...YAY!

I've explored deep underground, searched across the map for new items, built a tower with an underground lair, caught some animals, milked a cow, and screamed when I encountered my first spider. I really, really, like it!

Now I will give you a guided tour of my magical world...

Here is my home, I used birch wood to give it a 'classic, homey'  feel, and so I could see it from far away. What you cant see is the giant waterfall cascading from the tower on top of my house; from there I can see the whole map and find my way home when lost. I tried jumping from  the top to land in the little pool, didn't work :( And a little bit of pretty gardening.

 Here is my pig, he's quite antisocial so I tend to leave him alone.  Maybe its because I slaughtered his parents....

Here is one of my chests, very organised. This game brings out the inner OCD in me...

My boudoir, much tidier than mine IRL...

 Sheep love...made  me laugh the first time this happened...

SHEEPS! They only pay attention to me when I have food :(

 my garden, don't know what i'm doing with it but it looks pretty...

My pumpkins look awesome though, gonna try and make a stone golem soon...

I still have no idea what I am doing but i'm having fun exploring. If you have any ideas of what I should do, let me know!

Stuff you didn't know you wanted till now

STUFF! Everyone likes stuff. Especially when it’s cool stuff. I’ve rounded up some of the coolest geek stuff I’ve found on that there interwebs for your enjoyment, so wallets at the ready, yeah?

(Most of it I have admittedly found on Think Geek. Think Geek, open a UK warehouse or something would you? I want to throw all my cash at you and I can’t because of stupid import taxes. UGH.)

Lego Minecraft:

Starting as we mean to go on, let’s investigate Minecraft merch. Yeah, there’s lots of cool stuff, like the foam swords and pickaxes and the ‘diamond’ necklace (which I now actually own), but now there’s Minecraft Lego, complete with its own little Steve and even a Creeper!

You could build your own little land, then playact as Steve building his own village and periodically running away screaming when the creeper comes to mess up everyone’s day. Or is that just how I play it?

Portal 2 long fall socks:

I have this feeling I’ve covered these before, but I’m waaaay too lazy to check. Either way, don’t you want these? Obviously you’d never be able to do long falls for real (not without your shin bones shooting up through your ribcage, anyway) but you’d LOOK cool, and that’s what’s important. Fact.

Lightsaber:

Surely a must have for any Star Wars fan. They light up and turn off just like to lightsabers in the movies, and even make the hum noise when you swish it about while threatening the cat. Even better, they make the clashing noise when you hit something with it. I know this first hand as I bought Matt one a few years ago, and I was rewarded by being smashed in the head with it repeatedly. Thanks, dear.

Mockingjay pin:

As much as the love triangle plot of the Hunger Games series drives me crazy, I have to admit I love everything else about the books. There’s some cool movie merch out there, including recreations of the costumes and even a Hunger Games cookbook, but I like the pin the best. Buy it, stick it on your jacket and pretend to be a rebel. Good times.

Firefly posters:

In lieu of a real life browncoat (MAKE IT HAPPEN, SERIOUSLY), I’m going with these posters. They’d look so pretty in my house, if only I had wall space for them...
I have to ask though, why is there a tourism poster for Serenity Valley? Do people go there to imagine the severe PTSD the soldiers inevitably have? Whatever, it’s still pretty.

Red shirt:

Speaks for itself, really. There was a baby version, too, but it seemed unspeakably cruel.

Proclamation board:

Yeah, yeah, you can buy the wands and that, but I want THIS. I could hang it on the wall and write shouty notes on it.

NO ONE SHALL EAT THE LAST OF THE CHOCOLATE ON PAIN OF DEATH

THE SHOW ‘FRIENDS’ IS NOW BANNED FROM THE TV UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

NOTHING WILL BE BORROWED WITHOUT EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE OWNER, SO HANDS OFF MY STUFF

Ride In Dalek:

I don’t care that I’m way too big to fit in it, I NEED IT NOOOOOW.

Punch it in its minty green chops

So the new Minecraft update came out today, were you excited? We were excited. What would they bring out? Magical singing harps? A man with real working fingers? SPACE? No, ladies and gentlemen, it was even better than that. I give you...

CATS IN MINECRAFT!

That's right kids. Lose your minds!

Of course, some of you are thinking, 'Well, what's so special about cats in Minecraft? They're just something put in to appease the crazy cat ladies, right?' WRONG. Cats are magical and amazing and your life will change when you find them. Here's a few reasons why.

1. Cats are tigers in disguise

No, I'm not kidding. To find a cat, you need to go to the jungle with a raw fish. Then, you must creep up slowly to the said cat with the fish, and feed them it, preferably with a red wine sauce. Then, they will follow you home. Let them sleep in your bed, and overnight they will morph into their true tiger form. Well done, you own a dangerous animal!

2. Cats can smell fear

Cats are badass mofos, and Minecraft cats are no exception. Enemy mobs tremble before the mighty feline. Pick fights with whatever you feel like! Did that creeper offend your mother? Punch it in its minty green chops, and laugh manically as your cat stands before it and sends it away with it's metaphorical tail between its legs! YOU ARE NOW UNTOUCHABLE!

3. Cats are expert craftscats

It's true. You can set a cat to work building for you, as if you are some kind of all feline building company. You have to be careful though. Cats are notoriously flamboyant, and the cottage you asked for can easily turn into a five storey castle with a full on Rapunzel tower when you're not looking. Have spare cobblestone handy, is all I'm saying.

4. Cats will plot against you

This is really the only downside to cats. They are crafty creatures, and lust for power and glory. Do you really think they're happy to stay your furry servant, loitering around your map while you charge about mining things and crafting them? Don't be ridiculous! Now, I'm not privy to their exact methods for overthrowing you as master of the land but... don't stand near any ledges. That's all I'm saying.

I may have hallucinated much of this. However, there ARE cats in Minecraft. That is a thing now.

Gamer's Christmas Gift Guide

How do you do your Christmas shopping? Are you freakishly organised, having everything bought, wrapped and tagged by October 1st? Do you panic buy everything in December from the petrol station? Or are you somewhere in the middle like me, smugly buying presents in September but then realising mid December you are nowhere near finished?

Either way, you might need some help picking out gifts for that awkward gamer geek in your life. They won’t appreciate socks unless they have Space Invaders on them, and giving them booze will only inhibit them from playing Skyrim over the festive season. What do?

Here, gentle reader, let me help you.

Portal 2 Turret Plushie



http://tinyurl.com/74k4s6b

BRB, SQUEEING FOREVER.

That’s right, it’s a TALKING. TURRET. PLUSHIE. It even reacts to motion, and calls out ‘malfunctioning’ when you knock it over. It even says ‘Are you still there?’ if it doesn’t see any motion after about 30 seconds!

It is probably the cutest little package of shooty doom you ever laid eyes on.

Magic D20 of Destiny



http://tinyurl.com/dx3ldxu

Ok, so it’s a fancy Magic 8 ball, but come on, that thing’s cool. Plus, I bet it’d save a lot of arguments at the table. ‘Do we raid the dungeon or go get drunk with a wizard? CONSULT THE MAGIC D20!’

(We may or may not have got a wizard drunk in a D&D campaign once. Hey, it worked!)

Minecraft Diamond Necklace



http://tinyurl.com/78fpen4

Do you love your ladyfriend dearly, but can’t afford to lavish her with jewels this Christmas! Fear not! J!nx has you covered with this necklace fashioned after the diamond sprite in Minecraft.

File this under ‘More stuff I really kinda want.’

Icon Watch



http://tinyurl.com/4xcok8v

Do not adjust your set, that actually is a real life pixellated watch. One reviewer on the page states that it’s ‘more awesome than a panda in the kitchen’. I think we might have to take his word for that, but it is indeed pretty cool.

File THIS under ‘Stuff I’m pretty sure Sunday Matt will want.’

Portal 2 Long Fall Boots Socks



http://tinyurl.com/3uqq2ry

Ok, so Long Fall Boots may not exist outside of Aperture Laboratories, but this is the next thing. Wearing these makes you super cool and keeps your legs all toasty and warm. Don’t go jumping off cliffs though, for God’s sake.

Angry Birds Plushies



http://tinyurl.com/67bcfg5

Everybody loves Angry Birds, right? Or at least everybody’s heard of it. Plus, when everyone’s had Christmas dinner and you’re being forced to watch the Eastenders tragic Christmas special where everybody dies, you can start lobbing them at your dad to entertain yourself. Repeat until your arms are tired or a family member slaps you.

Space Invaders Couch



http://tinyurl.com/3wvmc38

Have a spare $5500? Then splurge on this for your loved one and make all their other gifts look like old hat by comparison. Huzzah!

An extremely lo res BBQ

I like to think I am my own person, that I can’t be sucked into passing fads. That peer pressure means nothing to me. So when I first heard of Minecraft, I thought, ‘Oh that looks kind of cool. I won’t bother, though.’ But then I kept hearing more about it. Then pictures of ridiculously epic creations in the game started making their way online. Still I resisted! Then my friends started getting into it, and raving about how awesome it was. Finally, mere hours before version 1.0 came out, I caved in and coughed up for the game.

So, did it live up to expectations? Well, I have documented my first thoughts as follows. Enjoy!

00:01 minute in: OK FINE I AM BUYING MINECRAFT NOW THIS IS HAPPENING.

00:03: It’s all downloaded, let’s start and see what all the fuss is about.

00:04: Survival or Build mode? Survival, clearly. Because I’m hardcore.

00:05: Ok, now we’ve started. There are trees EVERYWHERE.

00:05: PUNCH THE TREE! PUNCH IT GOOD

00:05: Now I’ve got little blocks of wood. Now what?

00:06: Wander around for a bit. Trees. Cliffs. Sheep. Ok.

00:08: Consult internet. Work out how to craft a pick. HAVE AT YE STONE!

00:08: Craft better pick with stone. Have created odd looking hole in side of cliff. Ah well.

00:09: Gone a bit trigger happy and have walked around smacking everything in sight.

00:09: Wool? What do I do with wool?

00:12: Oh, it’s dark now. What’s that noise? WHAT’S THAT NOISE?!

00:13: Brick self into odd hole in cliff side. Make some torches and feel fancy for a bit because I made fire.

00:16: What in the name of the sweet baby Jesus is that out there?

00:19: WHAT IS THAT NOISE IT’S RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL!

00:20: Freak out for a bit until daylight.

00:22: It’s daylight! Hulk smash out of my hole! Imma EXPLORE.

00:22: My hunger bar’s getting low. Can I smack a pig for food?

00:23: Turns out I can. What do the vegetarians do?

00:24: Make furnace and cook me some meats with it. It’s like an extremely lo res BBQ.

00:25: Play with furnace some more. Make glass by heating sand. I AM A WIZARD.

00:28: Find nice little spot next to a pond full of blocky ducks. Decide I’m going to live here.

00:31: Hack enormous hole in another hill side. I’m going to live here hobbit style.

00:40: Hanging out in fancy hole for the night, complete with door, windows and a CHEST! (Moar storage!)

00:41: A ZOMBIE HAS FALLEN INTO MY HOUSE KILL IT KILL IT DEAD!

00:50: Download fancy Rainbow Dash skin online.

00:60: Shouldn’t I be in bed?

00:64: MOAR DIGGING.